Marriage Matters: Nag Be Gone Sticky Notes

 Taken from Facebook post March 25, 2014. My wife is Carol Ray and she approves of this post. Carol hasn’t nagged me about anything since the 90’s. Believe me though, when I say she is naturally an incredible nagger; it is a gift. Instead of nagging she writes her request on a sticky note and without saying a word, puts it on our bathroom mirror…

 Over a decade ago, we got creative one day and came up with the Nag Be Gone Sticky Note system with the rules that follow. We needed something because we were both very frustrated. It felt like the more Carol hounded me to get something done, the more I felt like she was being “negative.” That made me think, “Now I really don’t want to get this done.” I was being really mature.

So, instead of nagging, Carol would write her request on a sticky note and quietly put it on our bathroom mirror.  The rule is; she cannot say anything about it for three days. At that point, I have those three days to take action.  Usually I try to take some sort of action on the first or second day, if not complete the task. On day three, if she thinks I have not taken any action, she moves the sticky note to the center of the mirror without saying anything. On day four she has a license to say something about it. My goal is for her to never get to that point.

Brett & Carol Cedar Point

When I finish I put the sticky note on the center of the mirror with the request crossed off. If I can’t finish in three days, I put a sticky note up to let her know I am working on it.

Because I am so happy that the hounding has stopped, Carol feels comfortable putting up more than one sticky note at a time. I look at it as a challenge to get them done on time.  As crazy as this may sound, all I can say is, “This really works for us!!” For those of you who may be frustrated like we were, give it a try. Just make sure you discuss the ground rules (your rules may be a little different from ours)  before you start and that you both agree to the terms.