Tuesday Tiny Tips

  • Parenting Tip- Learning Your Child’s “Interest” Language 10/17/17

    Try your best to learn to speak your child’s language.

    I don’t mean keeping up with all the “in” sayings of the day. Those seemed to change every other week.

    My multiple middle “schoolers” were into an animated TV series that they really wanted to share with my wife Carol and I. (yep we had four at one time and no I’m not sure schoolers is a word) Kelly: 6th grade. Stephen and Andrew: 7th grade and Josh: 8th grade.

    At first I thought they wanted to share an episode with us.


    They wanted to share all three seasons.

    So Carol and I dove in and watched all three seasons. All 61 episodes.


    When we finished the first time, the kids asked if we could start over and watch it again. By this time we were totally hooked.

    What a fantastic experience! We loved it! From that point on my wife and I could speak that language. (Meaning we knew the ins and outs of “Avatar: The Last Air Bender”)

    Great conversations about life and friendship. Great conversations about stuff that we don’t believe in like reincarnation. Great conversations about what different religions of the world believe that is different from Christianity. Great conversations about love.

    My twin sons were and still are very much into roller coasters. So, Carol and I learned a great deal about different roller coasters across the country and then we traveled to ride many of them with our kids.

    We learned how to speak the roller coaster language.

    Find something that your child loves and learn that language.

    I can’t say that Pokémon cards were my favorite but it meant the world to my kids.

    If you like this Tip, please consider sharing it. Thank you, Brett Ray

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  • Parenting Tip- Admitting Fault To Our Kids 10/10/17

    I learned very early on in parenting that it was a great thing for my kids to hear me admit that I was wrong and to ask them for forgiveness.

    This became a common occurrence for Carol and I and allowed God’s grace to flow freely in our home.

    It’s very difficult to live with someone who never makes mistakes.

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  • Faith and Family Tip- Prayer Team 10/3/17

    I want to encourage you to assemble a small group of friends who will pray for you.

    We have friends that pray for us and when we have a new pressing prayer request we send out a group text to let them know.

    We are also on the prayer teams for several other individuals and families and get their prayer requests through emails and texts.

    This to me is one of the great benefits of having Christian friends. We run the race together and lift each other up in prayer. We do life as a team.

    Find at least one friend who can be a prayer partner for you and in return, you for them.

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  • Marriage Tip-Sexual Intimacy:Bad Information 9/26/17

    Hey married couples! Here’s a question for you just in time for mine and Carol’s 28th wedding anniversary this weekend: How’s your Love Life?

    Doing great? Wonderful, keep up the good work!

    Need some help? I have three really helpful resources to recommend to you couples who are like Carol and I and need a little extra help in the area of intimacy.

    But first, a story I share at the marriage conferences. A mother raised her two daughters always telling them sexual intimacy is dirty and it hurts really bad and you should never do it. The girls eventually became adults and lived together in an apartment with their female cat, vowing to each other they would never get married and expose themselves to nasty, dirty sex. The two women felt so strong about this that they never let their female cat outside to expose her to this torment. One day however, one of the sisters came home from work engaged and told her sibling that she had met someone at work. She confessed that they had been seeing each other secretly for quite awhile and that they had decided to get married. The single sister told her engaged sister that it was okay but she had to send her a postcard from her honeymoon, telling her the truth about sex. The sister agreed.  The Wedding was wonderful and the sister went on her honeymoon. The sister at home received a post card. She found that it had a picture of Hawaii on it and so she flipped it over to see her sister had written only four words on it. They carefully spelled out this simple sentence:

    “Let the cat out.”

    I have surveyed hundreds of couples and have asked them where they first heard about sex. I discovered that the majority of Christians I have asked have not learned about sex from trustworthy parents, their church or another reliable source but instead from other 5th and 6th graders. I wish I was joking but many of you reading this know it is true.

    Is it possible that we have gotten some bad information growing up about sex?

    I learned about healthy, God blessed sex from our marriage mentors, Dave and Ann Wilson and from the books about intimacy they recommended written by great Christian authors.

    Now I want to recommend three resources to you.

    The first is “Sexual Intimacy In Marriage” by Sandra Glahn ThM and William Cutrer M.D.

    Wonderful Christian resource for every married couple who wants a little help in the area of sexual intimacy.

    The second and third are for those of us who have experienced any kind of sexual abuse or have a spouse who has. “Breathe: Finding Freedom To Thrive” by Nicole Baddock Bromley and “Healing The Wounded Heart” by Dan Allender

    Wonderful resources that have helped thousands and thousands of hurting individuals and couples.

    Once again readers, Carol and I receive no kickbacks for resources we recommend in the Tuesday Tips. We just know these have helped countless individuals and couples and want to get them into your hands.

    Click the book titles above to link to the store and read more about these helpful resources.

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